Spouses of ADEC

Ephesian 5:21

Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Being the spouse of an ADEC expat can be a perplexing process. They continue to thrive in a field they adore, and we are asked to leave behind our careers to join the journey. When my husband and I first fell in love he made the following statement, “Don’t worry about anything, I got you!” There was something about his particular tone and his eyes that allowed my wall to slowly come down and to wholeheartedly believe him. That being said 12 hours after giving birth to our daughter he received the email to travel to New York the following week for his final interview. Whoa…wait one second, I just delivered a baby! I had to remind myself that throughout our lives I knew my husband made every decision for our family through the wisdom of God, thus there was no need to stress.

After receiving the awesome news to prepare for an adventure in Abu Dhabi we were bursting with excitement. Then the reality of the move hit home. What about my career in Atlanta? Will I find my dream job in Abu Dhabi? How will I find this job without any networking connections in Abu Dhabi? While I enjoy being a stay at home mom in the interim, my desire is to focus on elevating my career in business.

After some time reflecting, I decided to utilize the faith I have in my husband and his ADEC opportunity as a stepping-stone for my career. This opportunity should allow the spouses to not only focus on obtaining a job, but rather to make their dreams a reality. Whether starting a business, working in corporate, or balancing both is completely up to you. Whatever vision God has displayed upon you can be achieved anywhere.

“Dream so often and so clearly it becomes a vision. Once you make it a vision, you start to see it. Once you see it-there’s only one way to make it a reality. You go get it"-Steve Harvey

Below are some resources I've researched to assist me as I embark on my professional introduction into Abu Dhabi.

Professional Development:

1. theMuse: The ultimate career finder and guidance destination. Any questions about creating or revising your resume and cover letter can be found here. It also provides great advice on interviewing and job searches. www.themuse.com

2. Coursera: An education platform that partners with top universities and organizations worldwide, to offer courses online for anyone to take, for free. You can also earn verified certificates to enhance your resume. https://www.coursera.org/

Facebook Groups:

1. Abu Dhabi Women’s Group: A great group to socialize and network about the ins/outs of Abu Dhabi. Anything from referred physicians, restaurants, and activities can be found here.

2. California-Abu Dhabi Connections: They meet for coffee and plan family activities. Their purpose is to build friendships and support one another.

3. Real Housewives of Abu Dhabi: A community of single or married women comprised of mothers, entrepreneurs & professionals.

Networking Groups

1. American Women Network of Abu Dhabi: An informal group of American women living and working in Abu Dhabi. They offer coffee meet-ups and other social activities. http://www.awnabudhabi.com/

Membership is free

2. ExpatWomen.com: A platform that offers support to women and families taking on new expat challenges. They provide information on family life, food, entertainment, education, shopping, where to live, jobs, health and sightseeing in Abu Dhabi. http://www.expatwoman.com/

I hope these resources are instrumental in making your professional transition less stressful.

If David can wait 20 years......

to become king, then surely I can wait a few more days/weeks for my transition (2 Samuel 2:1-5:5). As many of my colleagues prepare to fly out tomorrow, I will still be in Mobile, Alabama not quite sure of my own departure date. Now, I don't mean that to sound pessimistic at all. I read the other day that perspective/outlook/attitude all rest in how you tell the (your) story. While I would be ecstatic to be flying out tomorrow, where I am currently is a great deal better than where I could be! You see, if I were still in Atlanta, today would be the first day back for teachers...signaling the start of a new school year. I know the excitement of this day and I know the anxiousness of the unknown. I ALSO know the pressure of trying to improve student achievement, staff efficacy, teaching and learning, and the culture and climate of an entire school community. Raising student and teacher outcomes and expectations is a GRIND! Don't get me wrong...there is a part of me that is sad today, but overall, I would MUCH rather be right here, right now waiting than heading back into that grind. At the same time, I am grateful for the GRIND because it has prepared me for this opportunity. I am also appreciative to ALL the teachers who enter back into this GRIND today! I will keep them uplifted continually....

For those that don't know, there are mainly two opportunities that you have to work with ADEC (Abu Dhabi Educational Council). You can work as a teacher or administrator. There are a few others,  but those are the two main positions. Both have perks and are worth exploring if you are interested. For teachers, the process, once hired, is pretty much blind. Other than teachers knowing their salary, they have no idea which of the three regions they will be placed in AND what school they will placed in. Unlike, administrators, we are told our regional placements and salary, but still are not made aware of which school. Well.....I had been placed in Al Ain, which is about an hour from Dubai and about and hour and a half from Abu Dhabi. Al Ain is considered the suburbs and more family oriented. It was also designed to be more of a "green space". Many of the WONDERFUL administrators that I have come to know and enjoy at this point, have been placed in Al Ain. Also, a good friend of mine from Atlanta was also placed in Al Ain. I say all of this to say that Al Ain was going to be a good fit for my family....however, it wasn't my first choice. Deep down, I really wanted to be in Abu Dhabi......

My wife Sherrica (who needs to blog more:), has her MBA in Marketing and even though she is an incredible mother....she really wants to work outside of the home. We both have a vision for what we want and where we want to be in 5 years and her ability to work would accelerate the fulfillment of our family goals. With that, my concern was that her professional opportunities would be limited in Al Ain, and I wasn't comfortable with her having to commute anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half to secure something in her field.

But a funny thing happened while waiting! Yesterday, while laying across the bed watching netflix (I'm currently watching every season from The Office), I noticed an email from my recruiter. I initially thought it was an update on my departure date, BUT IT WASN'T!!!! I read the email and then I read it again..and then I read it again. It was an email informing me that my regional placement had been changed from Al Ain to ABU DHABI!!!!!! YEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! This is exactly what Sherrica and I wanted and makes the waiting worth it! While I am excited for the opportunity, this gives me more patience to wait. The housing opportunities are much more vast and in my opinion "wonderful" as Abu Dhabi is more like the city (New York City) with high rises and is more Sherrica's speed:) LOL

So in my waiting, God blessed me. Two verses come to mind:

1. Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. 
2. 2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all you need, you will abound in every good work. 

While I was praying for a little thing, God was blessing me with a BIG thing that would allow the vision that he has given me for my life and the life of my family to be realized. Like Steve Harvey said..."All I gotta do is not mess it up!"

Rodney King said it best........

So if you have read some of my earlier posts, you know that there is no one that has lauded over Facebook more than I. Facebook has allowed me to connect with some amazing people and begin to build what I hope are some genuine friendships! However, recently I have found myself visiting some of the pages that are dedicated to those who are involved in this transition to UAE. I write this blog because there are two “mindsets” that have bothered me about what I have seen lately. My hope is that future or even current folk will read this and begin to govern themselves accordingly.

So what is it that I am speaking of…..well recently that place (Facebook) that many individuals, including myself, turned to for support, knowledge, humor, and collegiality has turned a bit sour. Now don’t get me wrong, there are FAR more positive people and well-intentioned folk than there are negative, but when it turns bad….it turns BAD! So the first mindset that bothers me are those individuals who are not there under the umbrella of positivity, reassurance, truthfulness, collegiality, and support. Yes, I have seen the same question posted several times…HELL, I might have even asked a question that has been answered 23 times before. However, you never know when the person joined the “group” and if they are asking, it means they genuinely want to know. It boggles my mind why some people would respond negatively to someone that is just asking an innocent question. And I “betcha” that these could potentially be the same folk, who wonder why they have such a hard time adjusting when their feet finally hit the sand. What they affectionately call the “sandbox” will eventually turn into the “hotbox!!!”

And while I think there is nothing worse than folk that sit behind a computer screen and say whatever they want, however they want, the next “mindset” that bothers me is those that feel like they can “regulate” other grown people by deleting them from groups. Let’s face it, I don’t like the negative voices either, however, this is Facebook and to a certain degree, what’s makes social media the forum that it is, is the opportunity to share opposing views and/or attitudes no matter how distasteful. I don’t like to play God and don’t care for others who feel like they can wield a sword of dictatorship.  If you read something that you don’t’ agree with, I have some advice for you….move on! Don’t get hung up on the ignorance or vitriol nastiness that comes from some people. Again, there are far more good folk than there is the other. Yes, on your personal page you have the freedom to do as you please when it comes to whom you accept, decline, friend, or unfriend. BUT in an open forum, come one come all. As grown ups, we should have developed the skills to be able to deal with discourse, disagreements, and disrespect. I don’t need anyone “resolving my interpersonal conflicts. I would hope that by the time anyone made this huge decision, they also would have managed to develop conflict resolution skills, a sense of patience, a positive temperament, and the ability to self regulate especially when it comes to what you type on a social media site. If not, they are ALREADY in trouble and will find much more of it when they arrive.

As a self described “lover of human dynamics”, I have a theory of why what was once beautiful has become ugly at times and the answer is simple. People have nothing else to do!!!! Think about it….most of the people are teachers and would be spending their days traveling, reading, teaching summer school, or doing nothing.at all at their own discretion. But because no one knows when he or she is leaving, everyone is holding on to his or her finances for the most part. All many can think about at this point is the UAE! Everything you have done from saving, packing, buying, reading, and moving out in some cases have ALL revolved around this dream of the UAE. “Some”, and I doubt they will admit it, have become possessed by this move and overly consumed. So much so that some have begun to turn on one another and even when those well-intentioned folk have something positive to say that “some might not like”, they are threatened with excommunication! Really???

Just like the problem is simple, the answer is even simpler. GO FIND YO ARSE SOMETHING TO DO!!!  Yes, you may not be able to travel or spend like you normally would but this is the time to be creative. If you live in a major city, I am sure there are a number of free things to do. Enjoy your family that you will not see for long stretches of time, go take some classes at the Apple store, do like my wife did and take a cake decorating class, even though she doesn’t bake. LOL It doesn’t matter what you do, just do something and leave Facebook alone for a while. No one is going anywhere anytime soon, and there is absolutely nothing new on Facebook. Stop checking your email….NEWSFLASH…AIN’T NOTHING THERE!!! Stop trying to figure out a departure date and stop listening to folk who know probably less than you do!

We will all be there soon enough and I am sure that each and everyone of us at one point or another will think back to a time where we could have done something with someone while we were still here.

So you can either drive yourself crazy waiting on something that you have absolutely no control over…OR..you can LIVE while waiting. I choose to live and if you need me, I’ll be at the beach with my kids…..its FREE!!!! LOL